The words we use have the power to heal or harm us.
All women are guilty of some form of negative self-talk whether it be about their weight, age, or a natural bodily function such as menstruation.
There’s a distinct message in the media regarding women’s beauty standards and from a young age, women are comparing themselves to this impossible standard. Now with social media and filters, the standards are worse.
Perhaps you’re like me, and you’ve become used to random critical self-talk like:
‘You shouldn’t have done that’
‘Why didn’t you do that’
‘Why did you say that?’
’You aren’t worthy of this’
Sometimes negative self-talk can become quite unconscious to the point that you don’t even realize how self-critical you’re being.
There’s a deeper meaning behind negative self-talk. Beneath it lies a core belief which is often non-serving and very untrue.
For example: A core belief of ‘I’m unworthy’ will be supported by your own thoughts:
’My partner left me for someone better’
’I never have good luck’
etc…
When you change your thoughts, you change your core belief.
Your core beliefs represent how you see the world and this is developed from life’s experiences.
When we face a challenge, our core beliefs motivate how we interpret that challenge. Our chosen interpretation is going to determine how we feel emotionally, and from here, our actions are born.
What I find fascinating is that by listening to clients negative self-talk, their thoughts surrounding a current situation will usually trace very far back in their life to a past event.
The challenge when it comes to breaking free of negative self-talk is that often people aren’t fully aware of their negative self-talk.
To develop awareness to negative self-talk, it takes commitment to daily mindful practices for the body, mind, and spirit such as: yoga nidra, meditation, and body-awareness exercises. These help you master control of your thoughts.
When a client has a private yoga therapy session with me, I’ll offer them these practices and then invite them to journal and share what they notice. During the practices, they’ll notice certain thoughts pop up as they connect to certain body parts.
For example: I’ll offer a root chakra meditation and ask clients how they feel about this area of their body, and they will share that they feel unsafe, heavy, or disconnected. From here, there’s an opportunity to get curious and understand why they feel this way and where is it stemming from?
It’s impossible to love your body and embrace more confidence when you’re dealing with negative self-talk. Negative self talk blocks confidence, self-compassion, self-acceptance, and joy. It’s a total buzz kill.
Here’s what I discovered many years ago when I decided I was sick of living in self-doubt and fear.
It took consistent body-centred therapy to ‘reveal’ how I was talking to myself. Once I committed to the mindful practices that nurtured my mind, body, and spirit, the negative self-talk began to heal.
I realized I was telling myself many unfair stories on who I couldn't be and how unworthy I was.
I had to allow myself to be seen during this healing journey. I opened up to teachers and community and shared my non-serving self-talk. What was liberating was how many other women also shared these thoughts. Being seen was a part of my healing. Knowing you are not alone is the pathway to a more compassionate way of being.
And here’s where healing my negative self talk began and my confidence ignited.
I committed to weekly mindful practices for the mind, body, and spirt. Through this process of connecting to self - emotionally, spiritually, and physically - I allowed myself to feel vulnerable and be seen.
I needed my self talk to be witnessed to heal. This is why joining some form of a community, finding teachers, etc, is so important to the healing process.
In sharing my negative self-talk and saying it out loud, it became obvious how untrue it was. There’s so much power in saying this stuff out loud and writing it down.
When you ‘shine a light’ on the non-serving thoughts, they lose power.
Of course it wasn’t enough to just say it out loud, but this was a pivotal moment in the healing process.
From here, I committed to a weekly mindful practice for my body, mind, spirt which included:
Mindful breathing,
Yoga,
Gratitude practices,
Skillful observation (this is a process of seeing your thoughts as words with no inherent meaning or power).
I also had to record what I was feeling during my weekly practice so I began to journal after my meditations, say things out loud, and share with my community.
The next but most profound step? Inviting new positive thoughts in and releasing the non-serving ones.
My weekly practice helped me grow self-awareness so I could catch my non-serving thoughts as they popped up and as I felt them in my body. I’d take a pause to compassionately tell them ‘you’re not welcome here’. These small new positive habits made a major difference to my confidence because I felt in such control of my thoughts and feelings.
My inner-awareness practices helped me realize that my own thoughts were a bully I’d created within me that was affecting my confidence, relationships, and joy.
Once you can identify your negative self-talk, you can challenge the core belief and invite new positive thoughts in. This takes time, consider that some of these thoughts are deeply engrained in your being. The key is patience and lots of self-compassion.
When it comes to the power of your thoughts, there is plenty of science and research behind it. Have you heard of neuroplasticity?
Neuroplasticity refers to your brains ability to change. Things that help your brain change are:
Exercise,
Adequate sleep,
Good nutrition,
Managing stress,
Practicing the things you want to enforce in your brain.
You can absolutely change your brain, you can grow your brain. But you must stay consistent with the new positive habits. It’s like paving a path in the forest, you have to trim the grass and keep the path clear each week. Your mind is constantly rewiring. Exercise, meditation, sleep, yoga, and good food all make a difference to your brain.
Bottom Line:
Thoughts determine how we feel in our bodies. Beneath non-serving thoughts lies a healing journey to reveal your core beliefs that were formed from a younger age. With a bit of self-compassion, guidance, and a mindful weekly practice, you can absolutely release those non-serving thoughts and find more confidence and joy in your body.
Are you serious about loving your body more and feeling more confident?
Start with an inner-awareness practice. Take 5-10 minutes each day to explore a few practices that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. For example: guided meditation, gentle movement, yoga nidra, journaling, affirmations, breathwork.
I offer private online yoga therapy which can dive into this healing journey and provide you with the support, tools, and techniques for long-term success.
Remember, when you’re self-critical, you turn on your stress response and touch on the fight or flight part of your brain. It’s not possible to feel confident and connected to your body when you’re in this state.
So the next time you notice a non-serving thought, consider how this is affecting your self-love and confidence.
Change your thoughts, change your confidence and self-love.
Next Steps:
If you’re ready to explore online private yoga therapy, you’re invited to book a free 20-minute consultation and find out if somatic healing is the perfect fit for your needs. I’m a Yoga Therapist C-IAYT (trauma-informed) and I’m here to support you.
Thanks and sending you big healing blessings,
Joss Frank | Yoga Therapist C-IAYT
Joss Frank
Hi! I’m Joss Frank, founder of Wild Womb. I understand how womb and body healing ignites when you look within for guidance because I self-healed from my painful periods, depression, anxiety, sexual assault, emotional and physical abuse… after years of failed efforts to feel better about myself. My failed efforts led to a revelation that true healing comes from within and it requires loving community.
Today, as a Yoga Therapist C-IAYT I help people with womb and body healing so they can reclaim their feminine power, LOVE their sacred feminine bodies, and feel more confident.
Share this Article:
Wait! Before You Leave... Imagine Reconnecting with the Untapped Power of Your Feminine Body!
Are you ready to unleash the unstoppable power of your feminine energy and confidence? Look no further! With my transformative course, you'll gain access to everything you need to ignite your inner glow and reclaim your authentic self.