I get it - it’s tough. You’re a woman who wants to enjoy your body and pleasure but getting there can be a challenge. You might try the quick fixes like lingerie, dieting, make-overs, a holiday… but this does not get to the root cause of why you’re not experiencing mind-blowing pleasure.
The good news? There’s lots of easy practices like breathwork that you can do at-home to help improve your libido, sex drive, pleasure, and body confidence.
For women, feeling confident in their sexuality is tough for many reasons. Consider societal stigmas such as slut shaming and unreasonable beauty standards, family structures, and religion. A woman’s relationship with her sexuality is complex.
When it comes to having better sex and more pleasure, it starts with healing your relationship with your body.
What you think creates your reality. A gentle starting point to any sexual healing journey is to shine awareness on thoughts, habits, feelings, and emotions when it comes to sex.
Inner-awareness pratices (such as journaling, breathwork, meditation, and somatic exercises) will help you develop awareness to any tensions that are blocking the flow of your sexual energy.
Here are some journal prompts you could explore to build inner awareness:
What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to feeling pleasure with a partner or alone?
Are you confident in your sexuality or is there self-doubt, shame, guilt, or fear?
Can you fully relax and surrender during intimacy with a partner?
Do you feel comfortable communicating your likes, turn-ons, and dislikes with a partner?
The most important part to this form of sexual healing is that you release judgement and any need to change what you feel.
Self-compassion is a great healing tool which can help you release emotional tension and find a deeper connection to your sexual energy.
Exploring meditation and breathwork for pelvic floor tone, better sex, and heightened arousal
When I started my sexual healing journey, it started small and with gentle curiosity. Yes I’m guilty of going for the quick fixes which now feel quite silly: a new hairstyle, lingerie, supplements! Although these things did ‘do the trick’ for a short moment, I wasn’t getting to the root cause of my issue.
I was a beautiful woman on the outside but on the inside, I felt blocked. I wasn’t confident and I didn’t have any connection to my body. In a way, I was just going through the motions when it comes to sex. It almost became a gift that I gave to men. I never thought to prioritize my pleasure during sex or to explore my own pleasure alone.
So here’s how I started to improve my libido and confidence: I started to take a serious look at my trauma and how to release it. This is not to say that everyone reading this has trauma to release. It could just be that you have a few memories and non-serving thoughts that are blocking you. But most often, there is ‘something’ there blocking the sexual flow.
I committed to a daily yoga and meditation practice to simply connect to my sacral chakra and sexual organs. I realized in this moment that I‘d never really connected to this space with intention. This small new positive habit had a ripple effect. Instead of just doing yoga or breathwork, I focused on breathing with my womb, meditating with her, and exploring gentle movements to open up my pelvis and hips. Things began to feel lighter. I felt more connected to this space.
From here, I began to really honor my feelings and needs. I was slowly aligning with feminine energy and she had a very distinct rhythm. There were phases during the month that I felt more confident and sexual. And there were phases where I felt more closed and inward. I began to honor this flow instead of blindly demanding my body to feel sexual as I wanted it to. This pertains to the seasons as well. During the winter months (or rainy season), I felt myself go inward and restful and I began to honor this phase just as Mother Earth does.
Aligning with feminine energy using simple meditations, breathwork, affirmations, and journaling will help you improve your sex drive
From here, I slowly began to deepen my practices to include pelvic floor breathing exercises (known in tantra yoga as Yoni Bandhas).
It’s important that you approach this as a gentle journey not a race. There’s no point in jumping straight to the breathwork techniques if you’ve not also given space for trauma release and healing first.
The pelvic floor breathwork to improve tone, pleasure, and heighten sexuality: Yoni bandhas
The Yoni bandha breathwork practice involves breathing between gently holding and releasing your pelvic floor muscles. This is not kegels as kegels does not connect breathing and pelvic movement.
The benefits of the yoni bandhas breathing exercise:
Improve tone: The tone of a woman’s pelvic floor often weakens after menopause. Lack of tone can also result in prolapse.
Improve pelvic alignment: Improper pelvic alignment (such as tucking the tailbone) can increase the risk of prolapse.
Womb healing: It builds a healthy relationship with a woman’s sexual organs where feelings of shame, guilt, and fear are often stored.
Strengthen the pelvic floor: Pelvic floor exercises - without other treatment - can improve ailments such as incontinence. Consider that 50% of women with children have prolapse and 10% have symptoms.
There are many types of yoni bandha breathing exercises and womb yoga asanas to explore to improve sex drive.
Watch my Youtube to explore pelvic floor breathwork for better sex here.
Bottom Line
If you’re ready to improve your sex drive, arousal, and pleasure, start small and be patient. Your sexual healing is an exciting journey of discovery and every woman is different. Start with releasing what might be blocking access to your own pleasure. This means a deep dive into any trauma, thought patterns, and feelings that you’re holding onto which can manifest as tensions within your body.
From here, commit to an easy daily practice - 5-10 minutes - to explore womb meditations and womb yoga so you can begin to build a loving relationship with your body and womb. As it feels right in your body, begin to explore the yoni bandha practices. Take it one step at a time.
Next Steps:
You’re never alone and sexual healing works best with support and community. I’m a Yoga Therapist supporting women every week with online private yoga therapy and my feminine energy course. Goals of my clients include releasing womb trauma, increasing libido, and boosting confidence. You’re invited to book a free 20-minute consultation and find out how I can support your goals
Thanks and sending you sexual healing blessings,
Joss Frank | Yoga Therapist C-IAYT
Joss Frank
Hi! I’m Joss Frank, founder of Wild Womb. I understand how womb and body healing ignites when you look within for guidance because I self-healed from my painful periods, depression, anxiety, sexual assault, emotional and physical abuse… after years of failed efforts to feel better about myself. My failed efforts led to a revelation that true healing comes from within and it requires loving community.
Today, as a Yoga Therapist in my practicum, I help people with womb and body healing so they can reclaim their feminine power, LOVE their sacred feminine bodies, and feel more confident.
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